Please help before i kill myself?

Im really, really close to killing myself. Ever since i stopped cutting, the pain and anger and sadness builds up, and i want to end it all. I struggle with anxiety disorder and depression and im extremly lonely, i dont go to school because it was extremly stressful and i cant deal with it, the only friends i had are gone because people suck, and i hate it here. Im unapprecaited and unfairly blamed for everything. My only outlet is drawing and even that has stopped working! Im supposed to get theropy, but i know it wont happen. Even if i did, i have trust issues so i wouldnt be able to talk anyway. Im isolated and always scared of everything, and i need help. Someone either tell me how to feel better or tell me if the suicide hotline will trace my call or not. And if theyll send an ambulance to my house. Please!